So my lack of postings can be my witness that my life is slowly spiraling out of control. Life in general is just tough, so trying to balance this new career, a dwindling social life, one of my best friend's wedding, my amazingly supportive loving boyfriend, friends and family, plus just trying to find time to sit to clear you mind... mix it all together and you have the perfect recipe for one of the most stressful lives anyone has ever volunteered for.
My life before flight attendant world was pretty great. I had a job out of college that could have gotten me by just fine. I have a great close knit group of friends that I used to hang out with on a regular basis that included not only friends from college, but friends from high school as well. A boyfriend that would walk across the world just to spend 5 minutes with me (seriously, he's amazing) and family that would bend over backwards just to put a smile on my face. I have experienced enough heartbreak and enough loss in my life to know that these are the things that are most important in life.
So adding this Barbie job should have been a piece of cake right? Just one more thing to add on to life that God has generously blessed me with. This job has completely turned my life upside down. At first it was a crazy, amazing ride that I never wanted to get off of. Now, I can only dream to have enough time at home where I can actually put my suitcase away for a few days. I have lived out of a suitcase for 4 months now. Just to clarify... that's approximately 19 weeks.... which equals out to about 123 days. All of which I have had maybe 4 consecutive days at home at one time.
Now for someone who is single with no attachments, and can just pick up at any given moment this could seem like a dream. Never knowing where you will be next, and living out of one carry-on bag wondering where you next adventure will take place. For someone like me who is a complete homebody, 123 days of this can start to turn into complete torture.
The thought that I may not be able to be home for Thanksgiving and Christmas because I will be alone at some airport hotel is completely heartbreaking for me. The fact that I have not unpacked my toiletries into their rightful place in their drawer of my vanity at home is driving me insane. I can't remember the last time I got to enjoy getting dressed in the morning but pulling something out of my closet. Instead, I get to pull it out of a suitcase hoping I can still pull it off with the crazy amount of wrinkles left in it for being tossed from airplane to airplane for days at a time. By the way, I cannot iron something correctly to save my life.
I have passed up the opportunity to be home every night of the week where I can sit and talk to my friends on the phone, or meet them in town for a glass of wine, or enjoy my regular zumba class on Tuesday and Thursday's, movie nights with my mom and sister, and date nights with my boyfriend. All to push a 250lb cart up and down the aisle asking a new plane full of strangers "Would you like peanuts, pretzels or cookies?" All with the hopes that I can score a trip to some far place of the world I have yet to adventure to, but usually I end up in Kansas City or Tulsa. It would be so nice to actually feel like I was at home, instead of just visiting. Or if every conversation with my friends didn't start or end with "Okay, now when do you have to go back?" Luckily my boyfriend works for the same airline, so he also enjoys the flight benefits. In a desperate state to get to spend time with me he actually booked himself on every flight I worked one day. Just so he could see me. He chased me all up and down the east coast just to sit in an cramped airplane seat (he's 6'5") and eat crappy over priced airport food. Not gonna lie, it was probably the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. Did I mention he's pretty amazing? :)
I don't know if this is just a 4 month itch... or this whole change in lifestyle may not be the lifestyle I signed up for.
Oh, you. A girl after my own heart! I know how you feel, completely. Sometimes I just think of December and want to burst into tears. The thought of eating airplane food on Thanksgiving instead of a delicious feast makes me want to break out in hives. I really think once you get your transfer to Atlanta things will improve significantly. I think we should both give it at least a year. And maybe go somewhere in Europe together just so we get to fly with each other and do something fun :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, your boyfriend is totally for keeps. He followed you on the whole trip? Heart. Melted.
Hang in there, sugarbear. You are not alone!